Welcome to my website. Traditionally, I have been aggressively opposed to having the details of my affairs stored digitally… for tax avoidance purposes. However, after the publication of an extensive collection of leaked missives lovingly curated and painstakingly re-assembled by the Daily Mail, a lengthy lawsuit and the subsequent electronic tagging; here we are. In amongst the libellous gossip you will find many sordid details about me, lies about the many wonderful projects in which I have been involved in, portraits of my devilishly debonair mug and information regarding any forthcoming public appearances/apologies I may legally be required to make. So, sit back with a pint of vodka, spark up your hash-pipe and enjoy – Unless it’s you Branagh, you bastard, I will have my revenge.
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